From Naipaul to Shame [Song]

Uploaded by IsDePanInMe

By Mighty Chalkdust

Mister Chairman, I thank thee for this grand Nobel prize
I am Sir Vidia Naipaul and I think you chose wise
Though my parents gave me a sad and dull ancestry
I am proud of my English aristocracy.
But them old East Indians in Trinidad and Tobago
They want me big up St. James and San Fernando
They vex with my cockney accent and my Englishness
Since I turn mih back on these areas of darkness
You think I want the world to know that I'm from Trinidad,
Where Ali Baba and his gang working in my backyard?
You think I want the world take me for thieves in Petrotrin?
Dem men there so boldface, dey tiefin' wind.
You think I want the world link me with them airport contracts,
Where all them contractors and them get nice juicy kickbacks?
So before all you embarrass me, leave me as I am,
Lord Vidia Naipaul, the Count of Birmingham.

Mister Chairman, I thank thee for this grand Nobel Prize
I am Vidia Naipaul from England, where my heart lies
Though I grew up on dahl and rice, baigan and roti
I prefer baked beans, toast, jelly and English tea...we say "tai"
But them East Indians in Chaguanas,------- and Couva
They want me change my English suit and put on a kapra
They want me trade my English loo and toilet paper
For a latrine pit with a bottle of water
You think I want the world say I friendly with Gopiesingh?
Next thing police searching my house for medicine and linen
I don't care if they say Naipaul hate Trinidad beef
But nobody could say Naipaul is a thief.
You think I want them say that the fifty thousand missing
I use it to stop Ramesh from selling out to Manning?
So before all you call me and Ramesh neemakaram
Leave me as I am, the Count of Birmingham.

Mister Chairman, I thank thee for this grand Nobel prize
But don't associate me with them Trinidad guys
Cause I don't rip off my people in big, broad daylight
Especially when their cars stop at a traffic light
And I don't want people say I resemble Dhanraj Singh,
Tim Gopiesingh, Ganga Singh, and Carlos John-singh
And say like them the palm of mih hand ent have no hair
And Duprey might even tell me what kind of drawers to wear
You think I want the world say Lord Naipaul ent have no class,
Cause like Panday, I does call people 'criminals', 'corbeaux' and 'jackass'?
You think I want them say we election is a waste,
'Cause we don't vote on issues, we voting race?
You think I want them say that we election is a waste,
'Cause like Panday, he might send his daughters in England home by me?
So before I have to shoot that soldier who feel he is a ram
Leave me as I am, the Count of Birmingham.

So I called Lord Naipaul, and I spoke to Lord Naipaul, and this is what he told me:

Mister Chalkie, I'm glad I won this grand Nobel prize
But with Trinidad and Tobago, I want NO ties
Trinidad is a funny place, I must confess
Their Catholic priests must tell little children to have sex...What a mess!
And how could I go and boast and say I'm a Trini?
When your police men does act so damn carelessly
They does park their cars on the highway just to wee-wee
And bandit does run 'way with their cars and their CB
You think I want the world associate me with UWI?
Where medical students does break down house and thief whiskey
And because all ah them are big pappy sons
Believe me, my friend, they wouldn't touch none
Look, the Vidia Naipaul family home down in St. James
I left it there as a museum, government say, in my name
Now I hear rat and cockroach running 'bout the place, I shame
I prefer England, where I am the Count of Birmingham.

A Note From The Gull

Thank you Mighty Chalkdust!! When you are finished, not a man is left standing. If you think this bard is targeting just one person or group of people, you soon find yourself doing a double take.

"Patria est communis omnium parens" - Our native land is the common parent of us all. Keep it beautiful, make it even more so.

Blessed is all of creation
Blessed be my beautiful people
Blessed be the day of our awakening
Blessed is my country
Blessed are her patient hills.

Mweh ka allay!