Chinese Accident [Song]

Uploaded by IsDePanInMe
By Lord Blakie

Is a Chinee man truck and a negro man make a collision
But the two truck squeeze a car which was driven by a woman
Well, friends, I laugh too bad until I near go insane
When the magistrate call the Chinee man to explain.

He say, "My lolly coni up, he lolly coni tong 
E two lolly pong e lady li foh eleybody...
[The audience sings along with him and Lord Blakie breaks down into his signature, infectious laughter. He exclaims incredulously, "He singing my calypso!!!"] 

Well, is bacchanal now friends, I sorry all you didn't dey
When ---------- say, "Hush -------- !" to hear what the Chinee say
But the Prosecutor self like if he went out he brain 
The Magistrate pass an order but he ask the Chinee again. 

The Chinee say, "My lolly coni up, he lolly coni tong  
E two lolly pong e lady li foh eleybody  
But he lolly sham she behine an push e lady ca tong on my lolly  
So please tell me who blasted lolly more long?"

Miss Rich Kar Fook get vex and call to the Prosecutor
"Before things get out of hand, get this man a lawyer!"
Well in no time at all they brought in Desmond Allum
Is he what explain what was said by the Chinee man.

He said, "Was his lorry coming up, he lorry coming down  
The two lorry bounce the lady right in front everybody
But his lorry jam she behind and push the lady car down on his lorry
So please tell he who blasted lorry more wrong!"

 Source: The lyrics posted on this blog are often transcribed directly from performances. Although it is my intention to faithfully transcribe, I do not get all the words and I have a knack for hearing the wrong thing. Please feel free to correct me or to fill in the words that I miss by dropping me a message via e-mail. I'd be forever grateful. Thanks in advance! ..............................................................................................................................

A Note From The Gull
Thank you, Blakie! There is enough mischief in this song for all takers. Lord Blakie, under cover of poking fun at the English being spoken by a Chinese speaker, is in fact revisiting this perennial and most crucial of all questions, "Who blasted lolly more long?" Trinbagonians will knowingly chuckle at the double entendre and outsiders may get into the loop by promptly consulting the definition of lolo, of which lolly is a variant. In T&T, the Chinese who have not lost their accents have consistently been the subject of some popular calypsos over the years. Other ethnicities have not escaped. Portuguese Dance, for example, is one other calypso where the language/accent of a Trinbagonian ethnic grouping is highlighted. For some reason, however, the Chinese seem to have had the greatest impact on the ears of composers and have therefore been overrepresented in songs where accents are ribbed. It is possible that it continues because the Chinese in the society have tended to not register any significant response, whether negative or positive and have generally left the minstrels to their craft. So they continued to express their preoccupations without censure or encouragement from a community which appeared to be an easy target. Recently though, in 2011, a very important documentary entitled, "Chinee Girl", finally opened a window and some Chinese Trinbagonian women spoke honestly to us all about what it means to be Chinese and female in Trinidad and Tobago. 

"Patria est communis omnium parens" - Our native land is the common parent of us all. Keep it beautiful, make it even more so.

Blessed is all of creation
Blessed be my beautiful people
Blessed be the day of our awakening
Blessed is my country
Blessed are her patient hills.

Mweh ka allay!