Simpson "The Funeral Agency Man" [Song]

Uploaded by Neil Simpson

By The Mighty Sparrow


It ent to say I ent have a sense of humour
But I don't like the latest rumour
Of course, I have a sense of humour
But I don't like the latest rumour
People all about having to say how Sparrow kick out
He was in some kind of collision
Poor soul, and he dead, dead and gone. Amen!

Well, every half an hour somebody ringing up
Until they get the news they don't intend to stop. Guess who?
"Yes, I knew Sparrow, a very nice fellow
Whenever we met, we always said, "Hello." Guess who?
It was Simpson, funeral agency man
With the coffin in he hand
Simpson the funeral agency man
Oh yes, he working in the junction.

Is now to hear how much money I owing
So much false receipt they showing
People start to say how they sorry
I dead and gone, they ent get chance to sue me
This time, my family clean out a spot in the cemetery
They ent worried because they hear Sparrow get kill
They want to know which one of them I have in my will. Amen!

Somebody ring the newspaper, they ring the radio
They just got to find out if it's really so. Guess who?
"Yes, I love his records and I got every one
And now I feel so sorry to know that he is gone." Guess who?
You mean to say you don't know Simpson, the funeral agency man
With the coffin in he hand
Simpson, oh yes, the funeral agency man
You know he working in the junction.


A fella tell me something, he may be lying
But he say plenty woman was crying
Women who never talk to me yet
But they crying, all their dress wet
"Boo hoo, boo hoo! Sparrow dead, now whey we go do?
Give me the dagger from off the shelf.
I might as well kill myself!"

Yes, they say they see a man by Picadilly Street
With a candle in he hand and two slippers on his feet. Guess who?
Yes, they say they really thought the man was out he head
He say he waiting for me although he hear I dead. Guess who?
Everybody know Simpson, the funeral agency man
With the coffin in he hand
Simpson, oh yes, the funeral agency man
Lord, he working in the junction.


I hear they ------ big preparation
To head my funeral with All Stars steelband
Yes siree, decision was real quick
They ask the steelband men to play Sputnik
For the funeral they hire All Stars
But for the wake was that scamp, Cyril Diaz
Biscuit and coffee set, they ready to fete
The only disappointment is I ent dead yet. Amen!

I know you really, really thought the news was on the level
But the man who start this rumour is wicked as the devil. Guess who?
Yes, it's all a joke to him. He laughing, he ent care
With his nose like a funnel and he mouth touching he ears. Guess who?
It was Melody, the ugliest calypsonian
With he face like a saucepan
Melody, the ugliest calypsonian
So ugly and mauvais langue.

Source: The lyrics posted on this blog are often transcribed directly from performances. Although it is my intention to faithfully transcribe I do not get all the words and I have a knack for hearing the wrong thing. Please feel free to correct me or to fill in the words that I miss by dropping me a message via e-mail. I'd be forever grateful. Thanks in advance!

A Note From The Gull

Thank you. Mighty Sparrow!

"Patria est communis omnium parens" - Our native land is the common parent of us all. Keep it beautiful, make it even more so.

Blessed is all of creation
Blessed be my beautiful people
Blessed be the day of our awakening
Blessed is my country
Blessed are her patient hills.

Mweh ka allay!